best intentions
by popexpaulsen
Summary: 'Mike wanting to make a deal rendered everything Donna had said to him last night and this morning null in void.' In the face of his best friend facing prison, Harvey makes a difficult choice.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I know this concept is also being done (beautifully) by Jess (takeyourside), but I had the majority of this written before I knew that, so hopefully you don't mind reading two versions of the same theme. Much thanks to Elle (mieh) for looking through this for me._

Donna's eyes fluttered open as she slowly returned to consciousness. The arm around her waist was an unfamiliar but not unwelcome weight. She shifted around in the bed to find him already awake and smiling down at her. Unable to keep her own lips from turning upward, she raised a hand to caress the side of his face, as if confirming that this was real, that she didn't dream the events of last night.

"Good morning," he mumbled eventually, his voice croaky and deep from sleep.

"You're really here," she returned in amazement, still not quite able to believe she was waking up in his arms.

"Mmm, where I'm supposed to be," he agreed, before leaning in to press his lips to hers.

...

"_Because I think you're worthy," she insisted, willing him to hear what she was really saying. "And I don't want to lose you," she added through teary eyes._

_Harvey was taken aback by her bluntness. This wasn't what they did. They usually communicated in riddles and subtext, if at all, but they were never this honest about their feelings. However, somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he came here so she would convince him not to cut a deal, and she was doing a hell of a job. _

"_I'm scared, Donna." If honesty was on the menu tonight, he might as well take full advantage._

_Donna got up from her seat and made her way over to him, resting a hand on the side of his face as she whispered, "I know, Harvey. I'm scared too. But I wish you had as much faith in yourself as I do."_

_What was she doing? The bluntness was one thing but they _never_ touched, and for good reason. The warmth of her hand against his cheeks was doing something to his insides that his emotional state wasn't fit to fight. A moment passed as they stared at each other, the rest of the world fading as they allowed themselves to melt into whatever was happening between them. _

"_I love that you have that much faith in me," he breathed._

"_You… love?" she asked, half hopeful, half preparing to get her heart broken._

_Harvey didn't allow himself a second to think about it. Despite popular belief, he knew himself well enough to know why he always backed out of these conversations, but tonight felt different. Tonight, with everything on the line, this risk didn't seem as scary as usual. It certainly wasn't as scary as the risk he was prepared to take the next morning, and so he let his heart win the battle for once._

"_Love," he whispered, as he drew her down towards him, their faces inches apart as she waited to make sure he would follow through with this. When he finally pressed his lips to hers, his stomach dropped in the best way possible, and he cursed himself for holding back for so long. Her lips moved so perfectly against his, the feeling of her nails gently scratching the nape of his neck almost euphoric and how could he have been such an idiot? How had he convinced himself that having her in his life purely as a colleague and a friend was worth sacrificing _this?

"_Donna," he spoke between kisses. "I want to take you to bed."_

"_Mmm, I think it's about time you asked me."_

…_._

They kissed for a few moments, his mouth soft against hers and juxtaposed by the scratchiness of his stubble, their hands exploring how perfectly their bodies fit together, both relishing in the freedom of not having to hide their feelings anymore.

Reluctantly, Harvey pulled back, not wanting to be the bad guy but needing to remind them of how they ended up here, of what needed to be done today.

"As much as I would love to stay here all day with you, we should really get up because I need to get to the courthouse."

Donna sighed, settling back into the mattress for a second before nodding and steeling herself for what was to come.

"Stay for a coffee first?" she asked.

"Well, who am I to say no to a coffee from you?" he joked, getting off the bed to search for the clothes they had abandoned somewhere the night before.

Donna watched him move around her bedroom in awe. Before last night, she had long since accepted the fact that she would always have to love him from a distance. When he wasn't able to tell her how he loved her all those months ago, she had distanced herself from him to give herself the time to put the broken pieces of her heart back together. Once she was over the initial agony his words - or lack thereof - caused, she realised that it was easier to have him in her life at arms length than to not have him at all, that she wasn't really whole without him, and so they began to tiptoe around the tentative remains of their friendship. However, she hadn't let herself dream of the situation in front of her in a long time.

…

Harvey hummed into the first sip of the coffee she had presented him with. The bitterness of the hot liquid complemented the dash of vanilla so perfectly, quite like the woman in front of him complemented him. He watched as she cradled a cup in both her hands, long hair hiding her face as she dipped her head to taste the drink. She was so beautiful like this, fresh faced with her baby pink, silky robe wrapped around her body, not completely awake before the caffeine kicks in. He found himself longing to start every day like this for the rest of his life.

"I really should go if I want to make it to the courthouse on time," he spoke up, setting his mug on the counter and moving closer to her.

As he approached, she freed up her hands so she could wrap them around his waist. She leaned in for a chaste kiss before framing his face with her hands to ensure she had his full attention.

"Remember what I told you last night," she began. "Have faith in yourself, and have faith in Mike. I believe that the two of you are worthy of being found innocent. And when it's all over, come find me at the firm and we can celebrate this whole mess being over."

He closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against hers and taking a second to draw some strength from her.

"Okay," he whispered. "I really, really hope you're right, Donna. Because if you're not? If Mike goes to prison? I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself."

"It won't come to that," she assured him, leaning up to press her lips to his once more. "Now, get out of my kitchen and go do what Harvey Specter does best."

A smile tugged at his lips as he turned towards the door, grabbing his jacket from the sofa on his way. When he reached the door he stopped, waiting for her to catch up with him before he left.

"I'll see you later?" he asked her approaching form.

"You'll see me later," she confirmed. "Keep me updated, okay?"

"Of course. And Donna? I want you to know how much last night meant to me. It wasn't just some… 'everything's going to shit, and you were there' kinda thing. This is real for me."

"I know, Harvey," she assured him. "We'll talk later. You need to go."

…

Arriving at the courthouse, Harvey spotted Mike and a very anguished looking Rachel deep in conversation at the other end of the hall. He couldn't make out what they were saying from this distance, but it was clear that they were disagreeing on something and he didn't have _time _for that this morning so he moved closer with the intention of intercepting the pair.

"Mike you can't do this to me. I won't ever be able to forgive you. Can't you please just wait for the jury to come back? We still have a chance."

As he approached, he could make out Rachel's tear stained cheeks and the panicked look in her eyes. She was clinging to the lapels of her fiancé's suit jacket as he desperately tried to calm her down.

"Rach, I'm guilty. Making a deal is our only shot. I don't want us to be apart longer than we have to just because I was too stubborn to do the smart thing here," Harvey could hear Mike plead with her.

Seeing the couple in such agony about this situation broke something in Harvey. They were about to have their lives ruined for something that was his _goddamn _fault. He knew what he was doing when he hired Mike, and he knew what he was doing each and every time he had Mike work a case under his name. Mike wanting to make a deal rendered everything Donna had said to him last night and this morning null in void. If they weren't waiting for a jury to come back, having faith wasn't an option, and Harvey knew what he had to do.

Without notifying his friends of his presence, he turned on his heel and made his way to Anita Gibbs' office.

…

"Harvey Specter, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Gibbs asked as he walked through her door moments later.

"I'm ready to make a deal," he told her, his throat bobbing as he nodded his head, as if confirming to himself that he was doing the right thing.

"About time," she scoffed. "If I had to guess, I'd say you just about beat your little sidekick to it."

….

Donna was at her desk when she spotted Mike frantically making his way to her later that morning.

"Mike, what happened?" she asked as she rose from her seat. "Did the jury come back? I asked Harvey to keep me updated but I haven't heard anything from anyone, and why does your face look like that? What's wrong?"

Mike was struggling to get the words out, unprepared to deal with Donna's reaction to what he was about to tell her, but equally knowing it was better coming from him rather than anyone else.

"Umm, why don't we uhh… come into Harvey's office with me. You might want to sit down for this," he suggested.

"Mike, you're really scaring me." She eyed him curiously as she moved in the direction of Harvey's office. Mike offered no response, simply following her and motioning for her to take a seat.

"This morning, I went to the courthouse. I was prepared to make a deal with Gibbs, but when I got there I…" He trailed off, sneaking a glance at Donna in hopes that she had already reached the right conclusion, that he wouldn't have to break his friend's heart with the words.

"When you got there, _what,_ Mike?" she pressed, silently hoping he wasn't about to tell her what she thought he was.

"Harvey beat me to it, Donna. When I got there, he had already cut a deal. He has 72 hours to turn himself in."

Donna sat motionless for a moment as she let Mike's words wash over her. She hadn't let herself think about this possible outcome. Before Mike had shown up, she had thought that worst case scenario, Mike would be found guilty, they would all be distraught, she would do her absolute best to be there for Rachel, and they would all pull together to get him out as soon as possible. Harvey going to prison was… it was her worst nightmare coming true in and of itself, but Harvey going to prison after spending the night giving into his feelings for her the night before was just about enough for her to feel like her heart was being physically ripped out from her chest.

She barely noticed the tears escaping her eyes as she shook her head and let out a shaky, "No."

Opening her mouth seemingly broke down all the remaining defences she had, and she let the sobs course through her body. She felt as though her world was crumbling into pieces around her and there was nothing she could do to stop it. This morning she had convinced herself that everything was going to be okay. They would get Mike out of this mess, and they would celebrate and then Harvey would come home with her and they would begin their new normal. She couldn't believe that he would do this to her after everything they had been through. When was he ever going to stop breaking her heart?

"I'm really sorry, Donna," Mike's voice broke through her spiralling thoughts. "What can I do? Do you need some water? You want to go home?"

Donna looked up as she felt a wave of nausea overtake her. She gripped the edge of her seat, her heart pounding, her stomach churning and she could feel the sweat trickling down her temples and the back of her neck.

"Mike," she warned. "I think I'm gonna be sick."


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this story. Thanks again to Elle for her help with this one. _

_..._

"Mike," she warned. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Mike's face blanched and he immediately rose from his seat, making his way over to Donna and gently placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Do you think you can make it to the restroom?" he asked.

She nodded slightly, her nausea forcing her to keep as still as possible. On shaky legs, she allowed Mike to guide her up and help her out of Harvey's office. When they arrived at the restroom, Donna barely made it to the cubicle before collapsing, and Mike hovered awkwardly behind her, uncomfortable at the thought of holding her hair back, but wanting to shield her from the humiliation of being seen by any colleagues who happen to wander by. Donna couldn't help but wish it was Harvey with her instead, despite him being the reason for her upset stomach. She thinks that after the night before, he would probably hold her hair, rub her back and whisper soft reassurances, and she could really be doing with that right about now.

After a few moments of retching, Donna found the strength to move back from the toilet seat, but remained on the floor, breathing heavily while she attempted to regain some semblance of composure.

"You good?" Mike asked her.

"Mhmm, just gonna…" she trailed off as she waved her hand in the general direction of the sinks.

Despite her vagueness, Mike seemed to understand, lending her a hand to help her stand. She rinsed out her mouth and took a few seconds to properly catch her breath before turning to her friend.

"I'm sorry you had to witness that, Mike. I think I might be in shock," she told him.

Mike shook his head, assuring her that there was no reason to apologise.

"I think I would have the same reaction if it was somehow Rach facing… uhmm… what Harvey's facing," he admitted.

Donna tilted her head, wondering if he somehow knew about the recent development in her and Harvey's relationship, but his eyes held no glimmer, and she almost laughed to herself at the fact he could draw that comparison anyway. They really have always been as close as the almost married couple.

"Where is Harvey, anyway? Is he coming here?" she asked quietly, unsure of what she wanted the answer to be.

"Yeah, he's on his way." Mike told her. "Should be here any minute, I think. Are you ready to head back out?"

She steeled herself against the information and shrugged, not wanting to face everyone, but knowing she couldn't hide in here forever.

"Yeah, I'm good, I think."

….

Waiting in Harvey's office for his arrival was torturous, but it gave Donna time to digest what was happening and gather herself together enough to be able to carry out what she hoped would be a coherent conversation with him. When he entered, Donna was pacing the room, fidgeting with her fingers and breathing erratically. She didn't notice him enter, only looking toward him when he cleared his throat. Her bloodshot eyes stole his breath in the worst way, and his shoulders slumped as he let down his wall, letting out a soft, "Donna-".

She held his gaze, waiting for him to apologise, or say it was all a big misunderstanding or do _something_ to make it all better, but as usual, he was silent, and she huffed, rolling her eyes at him.

"You're an asshole, you know that?"

The words felt like a slap to the face, so much so that he physically recoiled.

"Donna, please, can you just let me explain?" he pleaded, but she was worked up now, the questions that had been rolling around in her mind since she heard the news tumbling out.

"What happened to having faith in yourself? I thought we agreed you would wait on the jury."

"We did, I was going to, I promise. But, I got there and I overheard Rachel trying to talk Mike out of making a deal, and I knew he'd do it if I didn't beat him to it, and I couldn't stand there and watch him throw away two years of his life for something we all know was my fault. What kind of man would that make me? I couldn't do it to him."

"But you could do it to me."

"What? No, that's not what I-"

"Did you even think about me?" she cut him off. "When you were out there playing the hero? Did I even cross your mind? I've been worried sick, Harvey. Literally sick. What am I supposed to do? If you're not here how am I supposed to—?"

She was ranting at this stage, and he didn't know how else to stop her except by pulling her into his arms, rubbing soothing circles on her back and whispering into her hair.

"I'm sorry, Donna. Of course I thought of you. You don't ever leave my goddamn mind. But I don't know how to make this better."

She was crying now, and she reached a hand up to wipe a tear, pulling back as her brain processed what he had told her moments before.

"Wait… did you say two years? Is that how long you'll be gone?"

The enormity of what he had done hit him upon hearing those words leave her lips. _Two years. _He was going to prison for _two years. _That's sevens hundred and thirty nights he would have to spend without her, and he knew he'd survived more than that before, but now that he'd had a taste of what their life could be like, he wasn't sure he'd survive even one more night alone.

She could see the answer in his glassy eyes and that was all it took for her to disintegrate into his arms once more.

"What am I gonna do without you for two whole years, Harvey?" she asked.

"Hey." He put two fingers under her chin and moved her head so she was looking at him. "You are the strongest woman I know. You'll be just fine, I know it. Now, what do you say we get out of here, because I don't want to spend my last few days of freedom in this firm."

She stiffened at his suggestion, moving out of his embrace and avoiding his gaze.

"Donna, what is it?" he asked, taken aback at her sudden coldness.

"Harvey, I think… I really need to be alone right now. I think it's best if I go back to my apartment by myself."

Harvey swallowed down the lump in his throat, reluctantly agreeing to her suggestion. He understood that he had hurt her, went against his word after giving his everything to her, but she was the one person he wanted by his side, all the time, really, but especially now, when he knew their time was so limited.

"Okay, well, um… you know where to find me if you change your mind. I really am so sorry Donna, you have to know that."

"I do," she assured him, closing her eyes against a fresh wave of tears. She walked out of his office without looking at him and Harvey swore he could physically feel his heart shattering.

…

Donna was two glasses of red and too many tissues to count in when she heard a knock on her door that evening. She knew it wasn't him, but still, her heart was pounding in hopeful anticipation. She had meant what she said earlier, she didn't want to be with him tonight, but she did crave his arms around her, his soothing tone convincing her that everything was going to be okay, his brown eyes telling her he believed that, and she cursed herself for wanting it to be Harvey on the other side of her door. Swinging the door open, her gaze met Rachel's as she did her best to hide her disappointment.

"Hey, Donna," her best friend began. "I thought you might need a friend tonight. Or you can tell me to go away, if you want, I won't be offended. But umm, I brought ice cream, if that helps my case?"

Donna relaxed her shoulders, unable to stop the smile on her lips at the mention of her favorite comfort food. With one hand still on the door frame, she reached out to pull Rachel in with the other.

"Any chance you brought tissues, too?" she asked. "Because I can't seem to stop crying, and I think I might just run out."

…

They were perched on either side of the couch in Donna's living area, each nursing a glass of red, wen Rachel let out an excited squeal.

"Wait, so let me get this straight. You and Harvey?"

Donna let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes."

"Harvey Specter," the brunette confirmed.

"_Yes."_

"_Last night,_ you and Harvey slept together."

"Yes, but Rachel, can we-"

"And yet you're here with me instead of spending as much time as possible with him while you still can."

Rachel regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, noticing the shift in Donna's demeanor, and she quickly set down her glass, moving closer to her friend, and reaching out to pull her into a sideways hug. Donna hadn't spoken yet but her eyes were welling up and Rachel instinctively knew what the red head was going to say before a single word left her mouth.

"I think I hate him a little bit right now," she spoke anyway, and Rachel let her, rubbing soothing patterns in her back as Donna continued. "I know it's selfish of me, and I hate that I feel like this because if it wasn't him it would be Mike, and I'm so glad it isn't Mike, really, I am." She paused to catch her breath, sitting up a little straighter and wiping a tear from her cheek. "I just don't know what I'm going to do now, Rach. I don't even have a _job _anymore." She laughed at that, realising she hadn't even considered her job before this moment, and that really just proved how ridiculous this entire situation was.

Rachel sighed. She knew how much Harvey meant to Donna. She has seen them together, witnessed them interact in a way that only those whose very souls were intertwined could. Despite her strength, her intelligence and her unwavering confidence, Donna Paulsen's entire world revolved around Harvey Specter, so Rachel understood why Donna was devastated. She cleared her throat, waiting for Donna to look at her before she spoke.

"I know that you're upset with him. I get that. I'd probably feel the same way if it were Mike. But, Donna, don't you think you might regret this a month or two down the line? Don't you think there might be nights when you'll lie in bed alone, wishing you had soaked up every second you could with him when you had the chance?"

The words cut right through Donna and her breath hitched in realisation. Rachel was right, of course. Her anger at Harvey was real, but it was fleeting. Missing him wouldn't be. Missing him would be a constant, gnawing ache in her gut that wouldn't leave until he returned to her side. She knew this because she had lived the last decade with a duller version as her constant companion, and the thought propelled her off her seat in search of a pair of shoes and a jacket.

"Rach, I need to—"

"I know, Donna. Go. I'll tidy up, see myself out."

In all the years they knew each other, she had never been more grateful for Rachel's selflessness, and she squeezed her shoulder in thanks before turning toward the door.

"Hey, Donna?" Rachel called after her.

She turned only her head back, her impatience evident in the way her body was still angled toward the exit.

"I know this sounds strange, given the circumstances, but I'm really happy for you."

She gave her a genuine smile at that, shrugging her shoulders before replying, "Thanks, Rachel. You know what? I'm happy for me too."

…

_A/N: Please let me know what you think! _


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: When I say I struggled with this chapter I mean I _really _struggled with this chapter. I honestly didn't think I would ever get it finished, but apparently social distancing is doing wonders for my fanfic career lol. Big thanks to Liz and Anna for looking over this one for me._

…

Harvey was sulking. Mike would go so far as to say he was feeling sorry for himself if he wasn't a little bit scared of him right now. They were in Harvey's condo, a glass of scotch each as they leaned over the kitchen island, drinking in near silence. It was hard to find the words to tell your mentor that you're sorry he has to go to prison for you, that you're thankful he's giving up two years of his life to let you live yours, and anyway, Harvey isn't very good with emotions, so Mike hoped he understood all of this through his mere presence. He could tell Harvey wasn't really in the room and he didn't blame him for it, but the silence was slowly becoming unbearable, so eventually Mike spoke the first words that came into his head.

"Donna seemed pretty upset."

This got Harvey's attention, his head whipping around to face Mike, his expression stoic, his grip on the edge of the island tightening. He didn't need to say anything for Mike to realize bringing up that particular subject was a mistake, and he immediately tried to backtrack.

"Harvey, I didn't mean to… I just meant that she-" He was stumbling but Harvey cut him off.

"I fucked up." The words were barely audible. He stared at a seemingly random spot on the counter as he continued. "I really hurt her and now she doesn't even want to _talk _to me and I don't know what to do to make it better."

If Mike was shocked by his friend's sudden willingness to talk about his personal life he didn't show it.

"She's in shock, Harvey. She wasn't expecting this. You just need to give her a little time."

"I don't _have _time. And even if I did…" he trailed off, finally shifting his gaze to look at the younger man. "Last night, I went to Donna's to talk and we ended up sleeping together. I promised her I would wait for the jury to come back in but… well, you know how well that turned out." He let out a breath. "I went back on my word to her. So, I don't blame her for not wanting to be with me."

This time, Mike didn't even try to hold back his astonishment. Not only had Harvey just almost completely glossed over the fact that he and Donna slept together, he then continued to voluntarily delve into his feelings on the consequences of the past few days.

"I feel weird even having this conversation with you, but do you mean slept with her as in a spur of the moment type thing or...?"

"No, Mike. It wasn't spur of the moment. I mean that the trial put things into perspective for me, and suddenly I was in her apartment and I couldn't remember why we were holding back anymore. I'm in _love _with her, and just when I had the balls to do something about it I had to go and screw it up." His breathing was shallow, his throat tight at the thought of messing things up with Donna before they even had a chance to start.

Mike moved to comfort his friend, unsure even as he made his way around the island what the best way to go about that was, but he was saved from making a decision by the sound of a frantic knock at the door. The pair glanced at each other and Mike nodded at Harvey in encouragement as the older man finished his drink and moved cautiously to the hallway. His hopeful heart was beating erratically in his throat as his brain begged him to tamper down his expectations. Donna had a key, she didn't need to knock, it probably wasn't her. He inhaled deeply as he swung open the door, and suddenly he couldn't think because Donna was _everywhere. _Her arms flung around his neck as her lips met his with such force he had to take a step back to steady himself. Instinctively, his hands found her waist as he opened his mouth and allowed her to take control of their kiss. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice was reminding him that they weren't alone and he used his last ounce of restraint to gently push her away. Before Donna could catch her breath to ask what was wrong, Mike cleared his throat behind them, shocking Donna out of her daze and causing her to clumsily jump away from Harvey's embrace.

"Well, I think that's my cue to leave," Mike quipped, chuckling softly.

Donna groaned, burying her face in Harvey's shoulder in embarrassment as she waited for the younger lawyer to leave, but Harvey simply chuckled, not at all bothered by what had just unfolded. Pulling back slightly, he scanned her face for any indication as to why she had a sudden change of heart, but all he found was pure unadulterated lust. His breath hitched at the realization, but as much as he wants to give himself over to the moment with her, he needs to know what happened that caused her to come over.

"So, you changed your mind?" he prompted gently after a moment.

"I changed my mind. Rachel made me realize that I might regret not spending as much time with you as possible, when I still can. So, here I am."

"Here you are," he agreed before pulling her towards him, tightening his grip on her waist and finding her mouth with his.

…

Harvey was the first to stir the next morning. His entire field of vision was red hair and long limbs painted with the most perfect mosaic of freckles and he would give _anything _for this to be the view he woke up to every morning. It dawned on him that it was his fault alone that it wouldn't be, and he groaned, carefully extracting himself from her embrace so as not to wake her. He had plans to make, and he needed her asleep to make them. Allowing himself one last glance at her, he slipped out of the bed and quietly went in search of something to wear.

Thirty minutes later, he felt Donna's arm loop around him from behind as he was finishing up preparing their coffees. He leaned into her embrace, smiling contentedly.

"Mmm, good morning," he murmured, not bothering to turn to face her.

She pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades before replying, "You weren't there when I woke up."

Anyone but him would have only detected humor in her tone, but it _was _him and he could discern a hint of sadness, so he turned in her embrace, running his hands up her arms and settling them on her shoulders, searching her eyes and finding the hint of fear he had expected. Before he had the chance to come up with the words to make it better, she continued.

"I was upset for a second but then I could smell the coffee so I forgive you already." It was a deflection, and an obvious one at that, but if humor was her preferred coping mechanism this morning, he'd let her have it, so he chuckled, amused at how easily swayed she was by the thought of her morning caffeine. "Is there breakfast to go with this?"

"Nope," he smirked, and she raised an eyebrow in question. "While you were sleeping, I made a few calls. I've planned our whole day, starting with breakfast." Taking note of the old shirt and sweats she was wearing, he added, "Actually, starting off with a quick stop at your place to get you something to wear."

Ignoring his obvious gawking, Donna focused on his initial statement, slightly doubtful of his organization skills, "You planned our whole day? You've _never_ planned your day before, should I be scared?"

He squeezed her shoulders before moving his hands down towards her waist, wrapping them around her back and drawing her closer to him so their chests were flush with each other. Resting his forehead against hers, he swallowed before answering.

"I want us to… I want to make memories with you, Donna. I want to have something for both of us to cling on to when we're apart. I know that I messed up-" 

She snorted at this and he jostled her in his embrace.

"Let me _finish_," he admonished before continuing. "I know I messed up, that all of this is my fault. But, we could spend today dwelling over all of our past and future wasted time, or we could take it as an opportunity to try and make up for it all. Let's not think about it today, okay? Don't let them take today away from us."

Donna gazed at him in awe. She wasn't used to this version of Harvey. This thoughtful, kind man who woke up early to plan a date with her. She always could see through his cold exterior, but witnessing him with his walls completely down, his heart right there for the taking - it was breathtaking. She found herself holding back tears, overwhelmed with love for him and it was only when Harvey grabbed her hand, pulling her back towards the bedroom to get ready for the day that she managed to shake herself out of her reverie. She was going on a date with Harvey Specter. Her boyfriend. Her boyfriend Harvey Specter planned their entire day together. Yeah, that wasn't going to sink in any time soon.

…

"How did you find this place?"

They were sitting across from each other at a corner table in a small independent café a few blocks from Harvey's apartment. The decor was cutesy without being overbearing, pastel colored, mismatched chairs, earthy, wooden tables and italic lettering on the wall-hangings. Donna thought it was the kind of place she'd come to escape on a Sunday morning, but it was completely the opposite of Harvey's usual favorite spots.

He blushed slightly at her question, studying the small menu even though he knew he had already chosen the pancake stack with bacon. Clearing his throat, he cautiously met her eyes.

"I, umm… was out running one day a couple weeks ago and I passed it and it uhh… reminded me of you," he admitted, "so I came in, and the coffee was really good."

His attempt to brush the story off with a joke was in vain, he knew. This was Donna Paulsen, reader of all people, especially him, but he couldn't help it, the vulnerability of the admission leaving him too raw and open for what was supposed to be a day filled with enough happy memories to last two years.

Donna's response was stuck in her throat, her words failing her for possibly only the second time since they've known each other, so instead she reached out for his hand on the table, squeezing gently, and conveyed her response through her eyes. He understood, and didn't tease her for the fact that he had managed to render her speechless, choosing to savor this moment instead.

...

The afternoon found them walking through Central Park, hand in hand, and she was honestly a little surprised. He told her he was taking her to see Shakespeare in the Park, her ideal date, but one she truly had never imagined going on with him. This was Harvey Specter. There was a certain amount of grandiosity that should be expected with anything involving him, but the simplicity of this idea was refreshing in a way that somehow made her love him more. His focus was clearly to make this a day she would cherish forever, every little nuance thought through perfectly, so much so that she asked if he had help from Rachel but he swore he didn't. They sat through a performance of _Much Ado About Nothing_ and she even caught him laughing at Benedick during one scene and it melted her heart. Afterwards, she asked him if he'd ever seen that play before and he replied no.

"I only ever go to the theater to see you, Donna," he told her. "My favorite actress."

She smacked him in the chest for that, rolling her eyes, but when she really looked at him, she could tell he wasn't joking.

"Thank you Harvey," she managed to get out, suddenly breathless. Clearing her throat, she continued, "So where to next?" and he simply shook his head, declaring it was a surprise.

...

The surprise turned out to be dinner in a new restaurant come jazz bar he found uptown. He told Donna his Dad's old band played there sometimes, and they told him about it. The low lighting and soft music created an inherently romantic atmosphere, and Donna took the opportunity to slide closer to him in their U-shaped booth. Their food had been cleared and they were sitting in comfortable silence, Harvey running a thumb back and forth over the hand Donna had placed on his thigh.

"This was really the perfect day, Harvey," she spoke up eventually. "Thank you for taking my mind off of everything."

"It was my pleasure," he murmured in response. "I'm glad we got this."

She hummed in agreement, pausing for a moment to decide whether to bring up the topic that had been playing on her mind for the past couple of minutes.

"What is it?" he asked her, bracing himself for an uncomfortable conversation if the look on her face was anything to go by.

"Have you told your family? Marcus and-"

"Donna, we're not talking about this tonight," he cut her off.

"If not tonight, then when?"

"In the morning, I promise," he assured her. "Today is just for us. Now, come dance with me?"

He didn't give her a choice, grabbing her hand as he slid out of the booth and leading her to the dance floor where a few other couples were already swaying. They had danced before, at firm events and Christmas parties, but never like this, so intimately. He held her tight as he guided her expertly around the room, a natural flow to his movements that she barely noticed because she was caught in an oxymoron of being completely wrapped up in her safe space whilst simultaneously clinging onto the hope of a future that she can't have, and it tore her in half. Her tears clouded her vision as she counted on him to keep her steady, this perfect man who was trying his utmost to heal the heart he broke. This perfect man who was going to be ripped away from her, who was going to break her heart _again _and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

…

_A/N: Hopefully there won't be as long to wait for the next chapter! I'll try my best. Reviews are always appreciated. _


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